midnight thoughts in NY

Its the second night in my new place!! Yay I feel so independent so free. And then I'm reminded that I'm not there yet. I don't pay my own bills I don't have a steady source of income I'm not in school yet. What am I really doing? I decided to just sit on my fire escape and watch people, have lives know people enjoying themselves. And I wish it was me. I want to go out have fun and meet people. I tried today in fact. As I was walking around and getting food. I talk to people but nothing major met some neighbors in my building seem normal. Or as normal as you can be in NYC without killing a person. Met a guy is really nice, so I'm just enjoying things as they come. And soon hopefully I can be that girl with a good friends and not druggies like I had b4. NYC is my new home, I don't want to regret my move here or having my mother shovel money out to help me. There are so many other paths I could have gone. I just hope I can stick to this one for a while.