First Semester Done.....

Started in this school back in August. In Upstate NY best idea yet right? so far i think so, i just finished taking my first final and i'm sweating bullets. Tomorrow is my math and then the last one on wednesday is english. You would think i would be umping for joy about how this semester flew by or how I made so many new friends, well sorry to say nope and nope. I spent my time studying for class,and hanging out with my friends who on the lucky side are working and not in school. some days i do wish i could just go tot work all day and not have to study at all. I don't know. Don't get me wrong i love the school and the teachers are great but being in this environment makes me think of it as just one big high school and i'm the transfer student who doesn't speak english. The ironic thing is that I'm a major extroverted type of person, maybe its the environment and how everybody here grew up or maybe its just that i don't want to really make any friends with these kids. either way all i really want to do is get through these finals pass all my classes and just finish school. But then the question is where do i go after this, do i get a job as a teacher here or do i move with my degree and get a teaching job somewhere else. either are ok i would prefer to move away form here not too far but far enough i guess. I have made great friends int his town and its super fun to go and hanging out with them. I have an awesome boyfriend who grew up here so i get a full tour of this place hahahaha and he's very well known as he is an artist. but still im here as a student and not much else its not an area i would want to plant roots in at all. Let alone have my kids go to school here and teach here. On the upside after my last final on wednesday i will be headed to Miami for the holidays and some much needed vacation. me and my mom on the beaches tanning and drinking by the pool! so exciting its the thing that is making me work so hard right now, not that i wouldn't be even if i wasn't going anywhere for the holidays. I was lucky enough growing up to have a super great education and support in traveling all over and experience so much. I would like to have something similar for my future but lets put that on the far back burner. For now i'm just trying to make it through this semester in one piece. Did i mention its snowing non stop and i have had to get snow tires for my car and i was strangely strangely excited for them....i think the country life style is getting to me.....i need my city life back!! College life is supossed to be exciting and a new adventure in ones life. To me it feels like im in high school and with the education standards pretty much the same as what i had in my school there. My English teacher told me that im a very prolific creative righter the other day. Not sure how i should feel about that. i mean i take it as a compliment in the fullist but does that mean i should go into the field of writing children's books? Do i really want to be a kindergarten teacher? I have way too many questions going on in my head. This stress is getting to me.

photos of my trip

A new chapter! of the never ending book that is Clare

Yes people you read that right, a new chapter in my life. Going back to school getting my associates in applied science for early childhood development. It only took me 3 and a half years to get back into the saddle of getting my life on track. oh well I'm excited. Moving out of NYC which will be sad because I love the city so much. But i am not moving that far away i can tell you. Jamestown NY! yes people it is the boonies of NY its not even Upstate i wouldn't classify it that way. I am 2 hours away from buffalo but something like 30 minutes away from Canada (just kidding but seriously its not that far away)! population around 50,000 people . oh and did i mention there is an Homage to Lucille ball (she was born there). New place to live new friends in a tiny town, but i get to work with kids! easiest job in the wold. I get to be a kid with kids all day. why didn't i think of this sooner!! oh well rather late than never right! The thing about this school, is its a community college, and most are pretty small looking and have maybe a few buildings but it has the feeling of a community college. Well people I have found the perfect medium of community and real college feel! Its the top SUNY school, has on campus housing that are 4 bedroom suite apartments fully furnished!! i mean really people. small classes, tutoring center. I mean as soon as i saw the school i was in love with it. Nervous and excited and anxious. oh did i mention its really cold and snows almost every week at lest twice! yeah SNOW. well going to look at apartments this week fingers crossed im not in a log cabin! Boonies here people. Crazy how this year has only just kinda got underway and im moving again and have a new adventure ahead! Packing up bags! 4 weeks and see yea NYC Hello Jamestown. Wish me Luck. Oh yeah i also just got back from Cambodia and Thailand Photos coming Sooon!

upcoming trip!!!

So i'm heading off to Thialand at the end of the month. So exciting. Its the whole family my mom,sister and her boyfriend. Hhmm...I have to make sure hes a good guy for her. Were going to temples,horse ride through local villages and looking at temples. So exciting.I am in desperate need of a vacation. Ive recently decided to go back to school,community college that is. School tours applications to fill out and class planning. What for you ask? Well I'm going to get my associates in early childhood education. To be a pre k teacher. Who knows I may go on to get a masters later. But the news is I'm moving out of NYC and to a new place. Another chapter of my life is about to start and I couldn't be more excited. On a whole different topc. Lets talk relationships. How do we build them and how do we make them work.its team work basically you put in what you get out of it. But what if your somebody who cant identify what you add to the relationship does that make you un lovable. Hell no it means you need to find yourself first before you can add yourself to another .. cause face it,if you don't know what you add to something then you don't truely know your self. Ok...but lets say you are secure in self confidence and you have a great job,family you had it all and now the perfect man or woman. Still you struggle with making it work. You are done with the honeymoon stage and onto the serious stuff. You met his siblings spent time with friends and they love you. So what's your next step...you talk about it! Yes people you need to talk with your partner about it. Now I'm not talking lets get married or move in here hell no not yet, but you do need to sit them down and say 'where do you see us going' but make it clear that your not putting pressure you both need to set a pace that you wanna be with eachother at and have an end goal. I find myself giving advice and consouling others in times of confusion and they take it and thank me for it. Yet when in my own life I apply it my endings aren't that happy. New place new home new relationships new life? I'm not changing me too much I hope. Well maybe I am but its not a bad thing. Oh it dawns on me I don't have any photos up hahaha that will change I swear. Nap time have a big trip tomorrow. Jamestown community tour oh boy!!this is school 2 and I haven't even scratched the surface. Did I mention I'm moving in march? No oh well then I need to get going on this! Oh HAPPY NEW YEAR :-)